Common Courtesy Out The Door

What has happened to us? I'm not talking any event; I mean, what has changed in society that makes it ok for people to treat others with disrespect, contempt, abusive language, and complete anger? What used to be unacceptable twenty years ago is now all too common. Why?

Today at my work, a customer called to [incorrectly] complain about a product he had received. When he was told that he was actually in error, he began vilifying three of my management staff, calling them F***n this, and F***n that; yelling; calling them liars; abusively berating them for something that was actually due to a customer error, and nothing we had done.

I was called in to deal with this customer. I gathered all the info I needed, and then took his call. This gentleman lit right into me, and furthered his previous (and now ongoing) beratement of my managers.

I quickly and firmly interrupted him and stated that "Do not talk about my employees like that. It is disrespectful, and I won't tolerate it." At this point, he began directing his anger at me, and started calling me a liar, and insisted I pass him up the line of command, which I refused to do. He then hung up on me; so I left. He then started harassing my managers by calling repeatedly and demanding to speak with me. When he was told I was no longer in the office, this man's tirade started anew.

At this point, I told my managers to make a police complaint. We had the man's phone number, business address, and name. Needless to say, but the next time he called, one of my managers told him that we were calling the police and filing a complaint. He stopped calling; but the complaint was filed anyway.

My question again, Why is it ok to treat others with such contempt and disrespect? It's bad enough when this happens in your personal life, but is compounded when it involves business customers. And this guy was 100% in error in his complaint. Yet, it was our fault. What gives?

We are all born with an innate sense of right and wrong. We know it; we feel it when making both good and bad decisions. Somewhere along the way, some people begin to ignore that sense of right vs. wrong, and go stomping about intent on seeing that everyone hears about how they were wronged, and someone's gotta pay!

It seems to me that this attitude is beginning to filter ever increasingly out into mainstream America. People who used to accept little mistakes (perceived or real) and say, 'That's ok. What can we do to fix it?' are beginning to take offense at comments, body language, even vocal intonations--many of which are completely innocent. Why? What has changed?

As I go about my everyday life, I increasingly notice a pervading sense of selfishness all around me. I try, and I mean really try, not to let myself get caught up in it. It would certainly be easy enough to slip into. This selfishness takes many forms like impatience while driving; ignoring servers in restaurants; demanding satisfaction if something doesn't go your way; berating business employees (even when you are completely in the wrong); extreme and avoidable neighbor issues; treating department store employees like chattle; etc, etc, etc.

If I'm wrong, tell me...but I know that I'm not. This observation is spot on. Its going on every day, and is getting worse with each passing year.

So you might be asking yourself, "What can I do about this?" Well, start with yourself. See if this behavior is infiltrating your everyday life. Then, stop doing whatever, and start living by example. We cannot change everyone we see because we want to. We can only change ourselves, and live by example, hoping that we can influence a few people along the way. If enough people subscribe to this belief and practice it, then things will change...slowly thought it may be.

But if we do nothing and expect change to happen, then we are merely deluding ourselves and will only witness the societal changes worsening year after year. I for one want society to adopt a more tolerant stance in everything we do. Will it happen? Will this change be achievable? I doubt it; but in the mean time, I will try, every single day, to be the best person I can, and to always be aware of how I treat others.

No, I'm not perfect, nor will I ever claim to be. But how I treat others in voice and action is important in my everyday life. I expect to be treated with respect, and I will do my best to treat others the same way. If I don't, then I have failed to follow that innate sense of right and wrong that we are all born with, and am no better than this gentleman that I was forced to deal with today.